What is The Key to Have a Healthy Relationship?
The key to have a healthy relationship is putting yourself first.
Have you ever read that sentences? Well, if you don’t, it’s okay, because it based from my own experiences and I think I wanna share it with other people.
I did a self-reflection to know what mistakes I did in my past relationship and how can I fix them, so I won’t do it again in the future.
I was always the person who love & give more, all I care about was him, I don’t care if I was “bleeding” because it was more important to save him than myself.
I know it was unhealthy, I was being toxic to myself, but I just couldn’t stop, I sacrificed everything just because this abandonment issue makes me afraid to lose him.
Yes, I wasn’t secure with myself, I couldn’t stand myself being alone, then, the disaster happened. He decided to left, poooof! I feel like I lose everything including myself, it triggered my depression, I wanted to kill myself, I had a lack of sleep, I feel so lost & empty that I couldn’t do anything except blame myself, “oh maybe I wasn’t good enough.”
The moment I realize putting myself first is a priority was when I overthink at night, staring at the ceiling when my ex dumped me.
I know what was my biggest mistake in my past relationships. It was because I didn’t love & prioritize myself. I’m a giver and I didn’t have any boundaries, like, how much I should give to people, because a taker wouldn’t have it and they have tendency to take you for granted.
The right person wouldn’t just “take” from you, they also would do the same effort to show you how much they love you, so, you’d always feel content & loved. That way, you don’t feel like in a one-sided relationship where you always love & give more.
When you feel something’s not right, you know when to leave and save yourself, because you love yourself enough to choose YOU above anyone else, sometimes it makes you lose some people in your life and THAT’S OKAY.
Being an emotionally mature person, who loves & prioritizes yourself would attract the same person, and that’s how you know this relationship would be good & healthy. You both might have ups and downs because being okay all the time is bullshit, but you’d try to make it work in a healthiest way you can.
It’s been almost 4 years since I learn how to love & prioritize myself, well I still do, and I won’t stop trying to maintain the healthy relationship that I deserve (and you deserve it too!)
If my writing comes across you, maybe It’s time for you to work on yourself first before being in a relationship. Because the only one we can control and work on is ourselves, you can’t expect people to be what you want, but being the best version of yourself wouldn’t hurt you, am I right? Good luck!
